Well since you ask, Russ ...

A couple of weeks before the GDFAFortnight, I wrote down fourteen fantasy gigs, just for funning, together with my guess about how likely such an occurrence might be. They were

• Bob Mould performing all of Beaster. Chances of seeing Bob are good to definite, but playing this set nil to zero. At his last gig in Birmingham someone called for Beaster. He laughed, shook his head and explained "I'm not angry any more".
• Kate Bush doing whatever the hell she liked. Nil. She toured once, in 1979, so I can't see her changing her mind on my account.
• Screaming Trees, in mid-size venue in the winter. Nil, no matter what my venue preference. Chances of seeing headman Mark Lanegan are probably pretty good, though.
• Maddy Prior. Good, if you want to hear carols and such. I'd prefer some of your actual folk.
• Rob Zombie, doing his earlier work. Middling to poor. Last album wasn't up to a great deal, I didn't think, and he's off making films anyway.
• Pantera. Nil, what with the band being broken up and Dimebag Darryl being shot on stage by a nutter.
• WKDN, supported by Prime. Absolutely nil. Two bands I used to see a lot when I was at university. The Housemartin's weren't entirely joking with that "fourth best band in Hull" line. WKDN did a kind of drunken-blues-rock and I never saw them do the same set twice. They toured as support for the Beautiful South once I think, which must have perplexed the audience a very great deal. I believe most of WKDN are now dead, which is a shame.
• Ministry with RevCo. Nil because Uncle Al Jorgenson doesn't tour any more. Saw Ministry do a fantastic, punishing, relentless gig about a year ago, and I'd love to do it again.
• Swans, just to see what it was like. Nil, although Jarboe and Michael Gira both still tour.
• Enablers, because they're top and I've seen them about this time of year for the last two years. Fair to good.
• BOM and His Magic Drumstick at The Jug. Reasonable. I've recently seen him in the park writing and playing.
• Flaming Lips. Top fun. Fair to good.
• Kyuss, playing for hours in the desert. Nil, although I understand there are still many deserts.
• Shellac, because Steve Albini is a Lord. ATP shipped them over in the summer for one gig. One gig? What the hell were they thinking?

That was what I fancied on the 23 September. What a lot of nils. If you asked me to do the same now, I'd come up with a different list.